Purple delights / Redefining my own beauty

Hi Sweethearts!

I want to wish you all, each and every one, a very happy new year!

May this be the year you go for your dreams and make even more of every moment. 

As you know, my friends, I have worked long and hard to be my own best friend, to love and respect my self, not only support and encourage others, but my self as well. This process has been very much reflected in my fashion choices and in my confidence to throw caution and rules of dressing to the wind, leaving me with bonkers designs and wild combos, loving every one of my outfits and every moment in them.

One of the areas I haven`t dare to touch is my hair. I grew up receiving lots of compliments for my hair. Some of them were genuinely nice ones, others were harder to accept, like the times I was told that
"Well, at least you have good hair, or a handsome face, or good personality" (all true, I now know HAHA) but, they left me with the impression that faced with a fat girl like me, it was a relief for the other person to console us both that I may be fat, but at least I had beautiful locks. What ever the intention of the compliments, for most of my life I was so low on self worth that I deduced that the only thing about me that was worthy and lovely was my hair. The first time I dyed my hair and it came out all black I had an anxeity attack. I knew then that I still had some work to do on redefining my self worth and idea about my own beauty.

A few days ago when I was trimming my split ends with a pair of kitchen scissors (very bad of me I know LOL) I got to thinking about this, and as I started cutting my hair I realized that it was only hair and that I would still be me, I would still be ok if I cut it, nevermind that I am fat, nevermind that it might not come out ok, nevermind all that. So I set off chopping, my self worth intact, simply playing around with my look.

It might seem like a small thing, but for me it was a massive event. I am free of yet another preconceived notion about my self. Now I can look forward to my hair growing back and to enjoying my locks even more.

Can you relate lovlies? 

I sewed a couple of dresses yesterday, this is one of them. How is this for loud?! It feels delightful on :D

I found the material in my mothers basement, and mixed it today with my fave leopard dress from H&M. The lovely earrings were a gift from a much loved friend. Shoes, Nilson. Ring and clips, H&M. Watch, Nilson.

Love, Anika

Winter roses / Kindness is always fashionable

 

  

Hi Sweethearts!

It may be freezing outside, but I still want to enjoy my summer-dresses :)

Today I went for a rosy-leopard mix.

I haven`t been feeling very comfortable about my body lately,

but wanting to be kind to my self I refuse to hide my self,

I think roses and loud patterns accessorized with kind thoughts is better lol.

Speaking of kindness,

I want to give a warm and heartfelt thank you to my blogger friend

Vanhi of http://www.gritandglamor.com/.

She is the most amazing person and blogger,

if you don`t know her blog already, surf over and be ready to have your

bloggerista-existence rocked with her must-reads.

She is wise, generous, so blogger-savvy and so supportive.

I was deeply honored to find that she mentioned me in two of her posts recently,

listing me as a blogger who is owning what is original about me and my blog,

and as one of the most kind bloggers of 2010.

I was so moved I cried happy tears.

I want all of you, my lovely readers, to know that your kindness moves me so,

every day.

I love you and am here for you,

my sweethearts.

<3

The outfit:

Dress, my design

(I made it from a skirt I found in my mums basement, the waistband I made from shoelaces and studs from a neckless)

Cardigan, H&M (I cut it into shape, it was too long for my curvy frame)

Earrings, christmas gift from Alex

Sequined bracelet, my design

Feather, hairband, H&M

Love, Anika

Taupe / blue leopard /snake-covered hourglass - hips, tummy, positive attitude and all!

Hi Sweethearts!

I sewed this figure-hugging dress yesterday,

and with my improved inner monolouge saying

 "Yes I can tell you that I like my shape without being too unabashed" (lol),

I don`t mind telling you that I love the way it follows my hourglassy curves.

It is all a part of this self-bloody-well-rejoycing-project/

succumbing to the fact that these hips and my tum tum ain`t going nowhere but horizontal, so

I might as well get on with making the most of it all.

(To be fair my hips and tummy are very handy for getting bus-seats to my self,

or even getting a seat when the bus is full. You know, when people very graciously offer their seats to me

thinking that I am preggers, and me, not wanting to embarass any of us further graciously

say thank you, hold the small of my back and wiggle my self into the flippin`seat, leaving

the helpful passenger feeling quite the gent and me quite the fattie.

Ever had one of those moments?

All I am saying is,

don`t knock it, just enjoy the seat.

LOL)

I always try to make the best of what I am handed,

so in life and in fashion alike I am a true believer that knowing our selves is key.

Know your self!

(3 things I know about my self that I like: My sensitivity. My generousity. My sense of humour.)

Know your shape!

(3 things about my body that I like: My eyes. My hourglass shape. The girls. LOL)

I do really think it is all about the shape not the size in terms of what suits us fashionwise.

If I was 30 kilos lighter I would still wear the same shapes I do now.

In fact, it was when this finally hit home with me that I decided to stop waiting and wanting to be thin (which is as good seing as how I can`t even be bothered to unwrap the Zumba dvds I ordered, but am using the weights they included for booksupports, very handy lol) – and just get on with dressing up in colours and prints, finally having fun with my fashion!

I don`t ever want to put my self down again for not finding clothes that don`t fit me, screw that. 

Now I buy two dresses that don`t fit and make my own, and I bloody well wear white on bottom.

Damn right!

The outfit:

The dress I made from a taupe tee (H&M) and a dress that I had reworked a year ago. I like the ruffled detail of the back so much that I made the back of the dress the front. See, now you can`t really tell if that is my tummy or the ruffles :). Ok, maybe you can tell, but nevermind :D

The bolero is my design

Tell me, what do you know and like about your self?

xxx Anika

My inner monolouge says... that is a lot of print!

Hi sweethearts!

Thank you all so much for reading and commenting!

I am a firm believer that our thoughts can help us define how we feel,

making our inner monolouge a powerful tool to use

in terms of our perspective on our selves and

the lives we lead.

To have power brings the responsibility of using it wisely,

even when the power in question is that of my own

perception of my self.

My inner monolouge used to put me down, critisize my weight and highlight my mistakes 24-7.

I have taken the power over my inner monolouge,

and now the record that is playing in my head says:

Yes, you can.

Don`t worry.

It turns out my inner monolouge is right,

be it facing the challenges in my life, laughing at my own jokes, asking you to be my friends

or wearing any prints I damned well please.

Can you relate?

The outfit:

Leopard dress by H&M that I have reworked (and is the dress I feel the best about my body in LOL, pretty incredible seing as how it is anything but discreet)

Bolero/jacket that I cut from a dress by Gina Tricot that only fit nicely over one buttock at a time before I

used the top of it for a few dresses until this morning when I got my scissors out

Scarf is a dress that I forget where I got that I now am resewing

The shoes are untouched by my hands LOL

The bracelet I sewed from a sequin scarf

Tell me, what record do you have your inner monolouge playing?

xxx Anika

To be cast into a mixmatch of the most perplexing prints and emerge victorious - in fashion and in life

Hi Sweethearts!

The beautiful bloggerista of The Merry Traveller paid me the most wonderful compliment

on my previous post, she had me laughing out loud when I read this:

"You my dear can be cast in a mix match of the

most perplexing prints and emerge a victorious and gorgeous being! Kudos!"

Looking at this outfit that I wore a few days ago I see that she does has a point about

the perplexing prints! LOL 

You know me, I am such a thinker with a sensitive heart,

always observing and pondering the big and small things of life.

It struck me that her comment also applies the human experience. 

Surviving, getting by, living, redefining, overcoming, growing, really feeling,

really being present in our lives.  

My own growth is mirrored in my fashion.

For most of my life I have battled depression and anxeity beacuse of things that happened to me

growing up. For over twenty years I was so deeply ashamed of my self,

wanting to remove my self all together,

believing that I was a burden to others, that just looking at me discusted others.

I cloaked my self in black skirts that dragged on the ground, wore clothes that hid my body,

walking around grieving my uglyness and shortcomings inside and out.

I still have those thoughts sometimes, but as you know,

this is not what is prominent about me these days.

I have fought long and hard, still am, to get to a state of

self love,

self acceptance,

dignity.

I am emerging, I am done apologizing for being me, I am celebrating my self with my fashion

 - colours, prints, figurehugging dresses and all.

I am a self worth activist, fiercly standing up for all of our right to define ourselves by own standards,

both in my professional life and blogger-life. 

I was cast into a perplexing mix of obstacles, and I am emerging victoriosly.

Didn`t think I would see this day.

The outfit:

I designed the dress my self. Remeber the snake dress? I combined the top with a

belt taken from a miniskirt (H&M) that I wear as a scarf, but that is growing smaller in size lol.

I layered the dress with my olive leopard number (H&M and reworked by me), a tribal print scarf (Zara),

feather, ring and hairband (H&M) and leopard booties (Nilson).

Sweethearts,

I want to thank you each and every one for reading my blog, for commenting,

for becoming my friends.

You are impacting my life in a tangible and beautiful way.

I love you.

xxx Anika

The dress. The bolero. The prints. The scarf. The ooomph.

Hi sweethearts!

Do you feel that you have a look?

I would describe my look as bohemian chic with an egde.

(A somewhat crazy one as previously established LOL)

These are my five key elements.

1 The dress

I only have dresses. I adore wearing them. I sew lots of them my self. 

I always make sure they really work for my shape and colouring,

I don`t wear them unless they make me feel fab.

That is frocktastic self respect for you LOL

2 The bolero 

Cardigans don`t work on my body, tummy and all. Bolero`s on the other hand work a charm :D

I sew them from cushioncovers and scarves and whatever else I feel like.

They are so simple to make, take a look at my tutorial if you want to have a go your self :)

3 The prints

OOOOh yes.

Can`t get enough of `em.

I used to think I couldn`t wear them, being fat/curvy/well endowed/what ever.

In short, those days are over LOL

Leopard, snake, florals, stripes, dots.

Preferably all in the same outfit :D

4 The scarf

I have truckloads of them.

For valentines last year I moved half of them to the basement. The joy on my husbonds face was immense.

Until he realized they weren`t actually gone. Oh dear. LOL

They are such an easy way to change up an outfit, and also very handy for those oh-shit-what-to-wear-let-me-whip-up-a-dress-or-a-turban-moments LOL. Ever get those?

5 The ooomph

Well what is the point of dressing up if not to enjoy it and make the most of it?

Honey, those leopard prints down own me,

I make them work for me! :D

Also, in those moments when I loose my confidence mid-stride in

some unusual creation turning on the ooomph by singing/rapping

"I got big back and I can not lie.. dududududududuu" 

while swaying my hips and flicking my hair

helps me get my mojo back.

LOL

Tell me sweethearts, what are your 5 staples?

xxx Anika

I so love your comments that for now I have installed Intense Debate so that I can easily reply to each of your comments. Use your http://www.wordpress.com/ -account and share your thougts with me! :)

<3

Being the best me I can be / Another fearless look

Hi Sweethearts!

You know, I am an honest person, this is an honest blog.

I have chosen to be personal and open with you, all though not too private.

I could have chosen to simply share the sunny aspects of my life, of me, but that isn`t my style.

I am not ashamed of my hang ups, of my imperfections, my voulnerability, my body or even my confidence.

I don`t have all the answers, I am just trying very hard to be the best Anika I can be.

Otherwise, what a waist, you know?

Being the best you that you can be is a beautiful thing.

There is no one else like each of you, sweethearts.

I <3 you, fiercely!

Now, how do you like this mix?

I schlepped this on today, and felt good, clashing prints and all :)

I am wooooooman, I love leopard, and I`ll wear it any way I like thank you very much LOL

Dress, H&M (reworked)

Leopard scarf, Lindex

Bolero, made from a H&M dress

Neckless, Accessorize

Purple ring, H&M

Booties, Nilson

Watch, Ice

Tell me, do you enjoy being you?

I so love hearing from you,

and I am very frustrated with not having a proper reply-feature to continue the conversation with each of you when answering your comments.

Today I have experimented with installing a different commenting-system that you use your Wordpress-account for

(go to http://www.wordpress.com/ ).

 The wonderful thing about the Intense Debate-system is that it still allows your previous comments to show. The negative of course is that it doesn`t work with the blogger-wigdets like recent posts etc.

Being able to reply properly to your comments is so important to me that I am considering moving platform.

For now, I am keeping the blogger-system.

Let`s talk, sweethearts!

xxx Anika

In full bloom - front to back

Hi Sweethearts!

You know how some dresses make you feel va va voooooom?

This is one of those dresses for me.

(va va VOOM baby! LOL)

Thinking back to all those years I walked around feeling fat, ugly and crap makes

my joy of now being able to love my self and enjoy dressing up every day even stronger.

It`s not so much my body that has changed, it is my perspective on my self.

Every time I have a negative thought about my self I let it go and replace it with a supportive one.

Such hard work, totally worth it.

So here I am in all my glory (oh dear), in full bloom as it were.

The outfit:

Dress (Indiska) that I have reworked by wearing it with the back as the front. I wanted the rough detail of the zipper to show, and also I simply can`t zip it up HAHAHAH.

I added the belt from a miniskirt that I wear as a scarf. 

The scarf (H6M) is another miniskirt (of course :D). I love the golden snake fabric.

Owl earrings (Gina Tricot)

Huge purple ring (H&M)

Watch (Ice)

Leopard booties (Nilson)

Double chin (Ben & Jerrys LOL)

Thank you each and every one for your wonderful comments.

I take them all to heart and love surfing over to your lovely blogs. <3

xxx Anika

Ps. I am considering changing the commenting system to Disqus because it is very important to me to be able to answer each of your comments directly. Tell me, which system do you prefer?

Coat-dress, miniskirt-scarf and other spotty possibilites

Hi Sweethearts!

Thank you all for your love,

I have been round to each one of you to thank you and enjoy your fab blogs!

<3

For me, life is all about seing the possibilities!

A chance meeting can bring a new best friend.

A no or a yes can bring a lesson in life.

Not being where I want to be can bring pride when I acheive a goal.

Taking what seems like a wrong turn can bring something into my life that I didn`t know I needed.

Not having the money to shop as much as I like can mean that a fab cushion with newspaper-print might get a new life as a bolero.

Being bored can bring new ideas.

Feeling lonely can make me brave.

Being late in the morning can provide a tad of exercise running for the bus.

Not having regrets can mean self acceptance.

Having wrinkles means I can count all my smiles.

Having a big bum can mean that I have more to shake when dancing.

Realizing that being fat I really can not hide can mean that I might as well dress in spots.

:D

In short, I seldom see problems, I just maybe haven`t found the solutions yet.

That attitude is what has gotten me into this outfit with spots all over the girls LOL

This is one of those outfits where I am wearing stuff that came from seeing the possibilites and not the limitations:

A miniskirt that I can only get around one thigh has become a much loved scarf (H&M).

Not having any black material meant that a coat became a skirt (coat and top, H&M).

Needing somthing green for a top but being broke had me crafting a bolero (Fabric from H&M-dress).

Being in denial about living in a country where I need practical shoes for fall helped me welcome my leopard booties (Nilson)

Tell me, what are your take on the possibilites in life and in fashion?

xxx Anika